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Little-known fact, yeah? Back in the ‘60s—proper *Inherent Vice* vibes—erotic-massage joints got busted for “immorality.” Coppers stormed in, all red-faced, shoutin’, “This ain’t massage, it’s a bleedin’ orgy!” Made me chuckle—history’s a randy ol’ git. But what gets me goat? The cheek! Bloke says, “Me wrist’s knackered from… massagin’.” Pull the other one, pal—it’s got bells on! We shall fight in the parlours, in the backrooms, with growin’ fury!

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I know, mate, I know – it's kinda messy sometimes. But that's the fun and funk of Auburn-Gresham (us). I mean, come on, life is short, and this place is raw, real, and sometimes, like, hella unpredictable. So if you're comin’ over, just bring that open mindset. I promise you'll see a side of Chicago no travel guide ever tells ya.

Man, 57, shot to death by woman, 60, inside home in Chicago's Auburn Gresham