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I dig the hustle, tho. Like Monty plannin’ his last night, they got moves. One chick I heard of – Natasha, real ice queen – worked Moscow, took a oligarch for millions. Faked tears, played fragile, then bam, gone with his yacht! “This city’s a fuckin’ zoo,” Monty’d say, and escortin’s the wildest cage. Sarcasm? Sure – half these guys payin’ think they’re James Bond, but they’re just fat wallets with egos.

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The neighborhoods here are a contrast of old and new. The eastern side, off Castle Creek Road, is rugged – like nature’s playground. There’s a rough edge, rougher than my best-granite massage stone. Meanwhile, downtown is prim and posh. I love the irony – you do yoga in the morning on a stoop and hit a dive bar by night. Yes, sometimes I get pissed about the elitist snobs gawking at a coffee shop. But trust me, it's all part of Aspen's quirky charm.

Stout: Reality precedes good design