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Oi, fam, check it – me, the agronomist, yeah? But today I’m chattin’ ’bout findin’ a prostitute, innit! Proper mad ting, this is. So, I’m watchin’ *The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*, my fave flick, yeah, an’ I’m thinkin’ – life’s deep, bruv. Jean-Dominique, he’s trapped in his head, blinkin’ out his story, an’ I’m like, “Bruv, that’s bare heavy.” Then – bam! – I clock it: findin’ a prossie ain’t just a quick ting, it’s a whole vibe, a mad journey, like.

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I sometimes get mad – and yes, really mad – about how the rush-hour traffic on Wilson Boulevard can block all your zen moments. I remember one day – geez, tht was a day – when I was stuck, thinking “this city’s a riddle, man, always keepin’ you guessing, just like Uncle Boonmee's surreal journey.” There, something in me went, “Oi, life ain’t all serious memos, eh?” and I had a laugh at the cosmic irony of it all.

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