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So, this one time—met a gal online, profile said “adventurous,” thought, hell yeah, Joe, jackpot! Turns out, she meant skydivin’, not bedroom stuff—talk about a letdown! Made me madder’n a wet hen. But folks, the thrill? Hoo boy, keeps ya young! Like Anton Chigurh says, “You don’t know what you’re into.” That’s the truth—sex-dating’s a gamble, pure and simple.

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Oh, and speakin’ of charm, the Ship Creek area is just amazin’! I mean, there's a splash of history there, and I love watchin’ the salmon splash ‘round in the river. Sometimes I get totally mad at the traffic on Dimond Boulevard, cuz! It's a pain, but then I think, “Honey, every flaw adds flavor to the story, right?” Remember Gustave’s impeccable taste in hotels? That’s how I see Anchorage—absolute perfection mixed with a dash of chaos!

Former Rep. Liz Cheney, in Anchorage lecture event, gives kudos to Alaska Sen. Murkowski