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Oh, and the profiles—don’t get me started! “Lookin’ for fun, no strings!”—sure, Jan, til you’re cryin’ in my DMs bout your ex. Don’t pee on my leg and call it casual, sweetheart! Sex-dating’s 90% liars, 10% gold. Like that time I found out escorts use these apps—true story! Bumped into one, she was upfront, said, “Cash upfront, hon.” I was like, “Whoa, I ain’t payin’ for that!” Laughed my ass off, tho—props for honesty.

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Oh snap, lemme tell ya 'bout Pinewood Lane – it’s a quiet slice, like a hidden verse in a rap beat. Always bumped into odd folks here and there, droppin' words like “Young Mula Baby!” Paulie’s Bar on Pinewood got the best greasy grub n chattin’ vibes tho. ;D

Haunted by the past: Alva museum experiences the unexplained