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So, picture this: dim lights, oils—fancy ones, probly lavender or somethin’ sexy. Hands slidin’, tension meltin’, and I’m like, “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me! But srsly, it’s not creepy, ok? It’s legit—some places been doin’ it forever. Fun fact: ancient Greeks were into it! Called it “bodywork” or some junk—prolly naked too, those weirdos! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it, like, “Yo, pass the olive oil!”

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Don’t even get me started on the sweet spots for a date or gossip, like, check out Crescent Dr. The hidden gems on Lake Avenue are all over with local legends. Honestly, sometimes I’m like, “What the hell happened to common sense?” when I see pedestrians not even noticing Altadena’s charm. People get caught up in quick deals and forget to enjoy life. Jesus Christ, even my clients have deep thoughts at times after a deep tissue massage—so weird, so awesome.

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