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About Houston

Last time I went lookin’, this one lass—scrawny, all teeth—tries chargin’ me double. Double! I’m like, “Sweetie, I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, you don’t fleece me.” She backs off quick, mutterin’ somethin’ bout “hard times.” Pfft, cry me a river. Still tipped her extra—dunno why, felt generous, or maybe just tired. Surprised meself there. Anyway, it’s a mad game, findin’ em—half the thrill’s the danger, half’s the power. You wanna try it? Don’t. Or do. I don’t care. Just don’t come whinin’ to me when ya cock falls off. Ha!

So you want to book a sex worker?

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So come over, explore the corners, and feel the pulse of Alsip. It might seem small, but it’s heart is mighty. And cuz I’m a dating site coder, I see all the love budding in every nook. I can’t help but shout in true Gru style, with that odd accent of pure delight – “Lightbulb! Magic is everywhere, my friend!” Enjoy the vibes, and don’t forget to live a little wild here in Alsip.

John Ryan Wins Second Term As Alsip Mayor