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But then—ugh—there’s the dodgy side. Blokes gettin’ scammed, payin’ upfront, and poof, she’s gone like smoke. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ya thievin’ sods! Happened to a mate once, poor sod. He was all “Gandalf, she looked like Galadriel!”—yeah, mate, Galadriel with a fake wig and a burner phone. Still, can’t help but smirk—dumbass deserved it for not checkin’ reviews.

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oh, and the rine? scratch that, not a river, but i mean the canal—yeah, that water channel that kinda glitters under the afternoon sun even when it’s just runnin’ slow. gave me a moment of clarity, like, "Hey, maybe even losers can float." but then a local threw a frisbee and smashed my mood, LOL. ffs, gotta chill or somethin’!

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