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So, I’m scrollin’ Tinder, Bumble, whatever – total sausage fest some days, gets me proper riled! But then, you get a match, heart’s racin’, you’re like, “This is it, team!” Next thing, they’re bangin’ on about “ethical non-monogamy” or some bollocks. Mate, I just want a shag, not a TED Talk! Did ya know, back in the 90s, folk used newspaper ads for this? “Single lad, 30, seeks fit bird” – no swipin’, just vibes. Mental, eh?

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I gotta say, sometimes I get mad for no reason – like when traffic jams on South St. make me wanna toss my spa aprons in the air. But then I remember: life’s a wild ride, mate, and this city's quirks are its true jewels. I've seen sunsets over the palm-lined streets that make me think, "I'm as lost as a tourist here," yet feeling so damn alive.

Hidden camera found in bushes outside Alhambra home targeted in burglary attempt