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About Dallas

Now, don’t get dumb—findin’ a prostetute ain’t no picnic. Apps exist, yeah—shady sites, code words like “massage.” But IRL? Risky as hell—fake pics, scams, or worse, some dude with a knife. Happened in Pattaya once, guy got robbed blind! Hilarious if it ain’t you, pathetic if it is. Me, I’d rather watch Boonmee talk to monkeys than roll *that* dice.

So you want to book a sex worker?

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Oh man, you won't believe Albion, mate! This city's a tangled love-child of grit and grace, it is. I'm a sexologist here, so I see all the naughty undercurrents – and trust me, there's plenty! Remember, “Time passes. Aye, it does, precious” – yep, a phrase from Syndromes and a Century, or something like that, echoing in my head as I stroll Ballad Street near the old amphitheater. Stupid, fat hobbit! Seriously though, Albion's full of secrets.

Official: Burton Albion sign Dylan Williams from Chelsea