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Lemme spit this—escorts been around forever, yo. Back in Rome, they had hetaerae—fancy-ass escorts, educated, slingin’ charm. Ain’t just sex, it’s power, it’s networks! Like Fincher showed, it’s all connectin’ dots. I’m vibin’—this shit’s deep. But yo, what pisses me off? Hypocrites judgin’ escorts while swipin’ Tinder—same game, diff name! “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man!” Escorts get that—they’re the brand, the empire.

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So, I’m fuming, right? But then, I see this little kid on the sidewalk. He’s got a lemonade stand. I’m thinking, “Aww, that’s cute.” I walk over, and he’s charging a buck for a cup. I’m like, “Kid, you’re gonna be rich one day!” I buy a cup, and it’s the best lemonade I’ve ever had. Sweet and tangy, just like life should be.

Akron Police report decrease in crime for start of year