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Little known fact—back in ol’ Rome, escorts were sacred, aye! Called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves—runnin’ wild in brothels near temples. Priests’d even tip ‘em! Imagine that—holy men sneakin’ a shag ‘fore sermons. Cracked me up when I heard it—still does! An’ here’s a juicy bit: some escorts today use code, like “roses” fer cash. “Gimme 200 roses, love,” they’ll say. Sneaky, eh? Keeps the coppers guessin’, savvy?

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After that, I’m feeling a bit better. I head over to the Akron Art Museum on S. High St. I love that place! The art is wild, and it always gets my creative juices flowing. I’m staring at this giant sculpture, and I’m like, “What even is that?” It looks like a giant metal pretzel. I laugh out loud, and some lady gives me a weird look. Whatever, lady. Art is subjective, right?

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