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We chat, she’s tellin me prices – 50 bucks, quick gig. I’m thinkin, “Life’s too short to be appropriate,” another *Toni Erdmann* gem. So I’m in, but it’s weird, y’know? Not the sex part – that’s whatever – but the whole deal. She’s human, not some movie prop. Surprised me how chill she was, like we’re buddies. “You’re naked under there,” I tease, quotin the flick again. She smirks, “Duh, genius.”

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I love strollin’ around the Aiea Loop Trail. Holy smokes, it's like a wild ride! I once ran into a random couple on a bench there–crazy, just like that scene in The Hurt Locker: “This is my city!” (kinda dramatic, eh?) But, lemme tell ya, I got mad when construction blocked the park entrance near Halawa Park. So frustratin’! I was like, "Nah, c’mon!" But then I discovered a secret, chill spot by the river–ah, sorry, not an actual river, but a cute stream near Westwell Park. Super mellow vibe.

Hawaii DOT apologies for ‘incorrect’ H-1 lane closures that snarled traffic on Saturday