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About Phoenix

Sex-datin’s like a freakin’ jungle. You ever hear about that chick in Jersey—true story—who met some wiseguy on Tinder? Guy shows up with a freakin’ alpaca—yeah, an alpaca—says it’s his “wingman.” She bangs him anyway! I’m laughin’ my ass off, but also, what the fuck? People are nuts! Makes me happy, tho—crazy shit like that keeps life spicy. “Look at me, look at me!”—that’s what they’re all screamin’, postin’ thirst traps, hopin’ for a hookup.

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I also love breakin' out to Meridian Hill Park. Short walks there clear my mind. Trust me, a massage session outdoors feels like drivin' through a storm, catchin' every bit of energy in the air – plus, you even get views of downtown DC that shoot sparks into your soul. Whoops, almost forgot, the weird little alleys with secret art in every corner? Yeah, got lost in one of those more than once – but hey, that's Adams-Morgan, baby!

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