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About Philadelphia

So, last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown—how you doin’, right?—and I spot this chick, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost. Real slick, like she’s waitin’ for somethin’ big. I’m like, “Joey, don’t stare too hard,” but damn, she caught me lookin’! Gave me that side-eye, ya know? Made me laugh—reminded me of that scene where Isabelle’s all, “I’m not afraid of you!” Bold as hell. These girls got guts, man, gotta respect that hustle.

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First stop, I hit up the hardware store on Main St. I’m lookin’ for some 2x4s, ya know? But the guy behind the counter, Dave, he’s just standin’ there, jawin’ away about the weather. Like, dude, I don’t care if it’s sunny or if the sky’s fallin’. I need my wood! Finally, I grab what I need and bolt outta there.

Officials: Upstate man stole mom’s car at knifepoint before hit-and-run on playground