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About Philadelphia

What pisses me off? The liars. Bloke says he’s 6’2”, rolls up 5’8” in dirty trainers—mate, I’d smite him if I could. Happiest moment? Caught a scammer red-handed—lass faked a pregnancy to milk some poor git. I’m clappin’, “Well played, but I’m better.” Surprised me how many actually find love—saw this couple, met on a hookup app, now married with a kid. I’m like, “What sorcery is this?”

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Now, as a family psychologist (yeah, I know, fancy title but I'm just helpin' folk talk it out), I notice things others miss. Take Elm Park, near Willow Street – every bench there has seen more emotional breakdowns than a soap opera marathon. Families meet, quarrel, then laugh over ice cream. It's just raw life, ya know? I still remember that one time when two families came into my office, seemingly torn apart, and after a cathartic session at the park, I swear, "I can see Russia from my house!" (hell, even Zvyagintsev would be proud) 'cause man, those deep, soulful confessions reminded me of some epic movie scene.

Uzi left under family couch was among 4 guns seized from Portland man’s home, feds say