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Erotic-massage, it’s a proper cheeky art, innit? Not just some tarted-up spa day – nah, it’s old as balls. Ancient Greeks were at it, slappin’ oil on blokes before they wrestled – bit of a homoerotic knead, if you ask me. Bet they didn’t moan about it though, bunch of tough sods. Fast forward, now it’s all “tantric this” and “sensual that” – makes me wanna gag, but also, sign me up, yeah?

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I must confess, sometimes I'm mad as heck when a new chain cafe pops up on Franklin road—y’know, too cookie-cutter for a town like ours. I get all riled up thinking, “Where’s the soul?” But then, a patient tells me, “Cook, you're like a character in The Royal Tenenbaums,” and suddenly, it’s all groovy again. Life’s absurd sometimes, huh?

Yaphank Historical Society Celebrates 50th Anniversary