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Once matched this bird—thought, “Oh, shiny!” Textin’ was fire, she’s all flirty, then bam—ghosted. Left me hangin’ like Max on that pole in the desert. Pissed me off, precious, wasted my time! But then—ha!—this other time, met a lass who was legit wild. Proper Fury Road vibes—tattoos, leather, smoked me under the table. “I live, I die, I live again!”—that’s how it felt, shaggin’ her in a car park. Mad as hell, but bloody brilliant.

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Oh, and check this – there's a quirky little spot on Maple Circle, a tiny park with big trees and giant benches that feel like soft clouds. I go there when I'm feelin' sappy or need that deep breathing moment. Not many peeps know about it, but that's our lil secret.

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