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About Dallas

What pisses me off? The pretentious twats who bang on about “healing vibes”. Shut it, you wanker, it’s a glorified grope! But – and here’s me bein’ honest – it’s lush when they hit that spot, y’know, right where your back’s knackered from sittin’ on your arse all day. Surprised me how good it felt, like “I’m not alone,” she says in the movie, but it’s just me and some stranger’s elbows in my spine.

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From the Wykagyl Country Club in New Rochelle, N.Y. (2 hrs.) (Live) JAIL TASES, LOVE SPIRIT, SEX SPIRIT, ARE YOU ‘LONELY? ORDER POTION NOW.

The vibe here is urban chic meets nature’s wild side. And oh! don’t even get me started on the local food truck stall on 5th Street – their dumplings are straight-up fire! I sometimes roll by pillowing for a mid-afternoon snack, 'cause hey, a boss lady's gotta treat herself.

Scarsdale Swimmers Make Waves at the Counties