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So, last week—god, was it last week?—I’m out, cruisin downtown, feelin all hot n bothered. Wanted to find a pro, someone who knows the game. Not these fake-ass posers, ya know? I’m talkin real deal—street smart, sassy, maybe even a lil dangerous. Like Anger in *Inside Out*—all fired up, ready to explode! I see this chick, leather skirt, smokin a cig—thought, “Bingo, she’s it.” But nah, turns out she’s just some hipster waitin for her Uber. Pissed me off—wasted my damn time!

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And then there’s the downtown, with Riverside Drive, a buzzing hub of coffeeshops and quirky art galleries. I tell ya, I once sat outside one spot, lost in my thoughts, and damn, the vibe was so raw. The place, it's built on grit and charm, a bit like a poem written on a napkin in a dive bar. Street art splashed on the building walls echoed weird lines from that movie: “Tell 'em I was here!” And trust me, I did, in my own weird, David Brent kinda way.

Suspect in fatal Woodridge shooting dies in hospital