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But seriouslah, it’s risky, y’all. STDs, cops, creepy pimps — I’m yellin’, “Get outta my face, losers!” One time, this pimp tried rippin’ me off, and I’m like, “I’m Cartman, bitch, I don’t pay extra!” Kicked his ass — well, in my head I did. Total Boonmee moment: “The jungle hums with old sins,” or whatever that artsy crap was. Point is, ya gotta watch yer back!

Meet Up For Sex in Woodland

Oh, and the parks, dude – so many parks! There’s Cypress Park with its shady trees and a dog park where you can chill with furry friends. I swear, when I stroll there, it's like music – nature hummin’ a tune, remindin’ me of, “there’s a beauty in the slow, steady reckonin’ of time.” Oh, man, those are my relaxin’ vibes.

Storm damages iconic Chinkapin Oak in Woodland Way Park