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Downside? Some twats think it’s all dodgy—makes me mad! It’s art, ya prick, not a brothel handjob. Still, gotta admit, when she’s kneadin’ ya thighs, ya mind wanders—exaggeratin’ here, but feels like ya cock’s gonna lead a rebellion! “Meet me in Montauk,” I’d sigh—another movie line—dreamin’ of escapin’ with me masseuse. Witty, aye? So, mate, try it—erotic-massage’ll fuck ya up good, in the best way. Cheers!

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Oh, and the parks, dude – so many parks! There’s Cypress Park with its shady trees and a dog park where you can chill with furry friends. I swear, when I stroll there, it's like music – nature hummin’ a tune, remindin’ me of, “there’s a beauty in the slow, steady reckonin’ of time.” Oh, man, those are my relaxin’ vibes.

Turkey Tracks Fire sparks north of Woodland Park, several agencies respond