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So, sexual-massage – raspy hiss – it’s old, man! Ancient Greeks did it, callin’ it “anatripsis” – fancy, huh? Rubbin’ for health, but sneaky bastards slipped in the sexy bits! Makes me giggle, precious, thinkin’ ‘bout togas and oil. Tried it once – oh yesss – this chick, hands like magic, slidin’ everywhere! Felt like floatin’, but horny floatin’, y’know? Got me all tingly – “My precious!” – couldn’t stop grinnin’ like a fool.

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City of Woodland-Park, my love, is a jumble of quirky streets - like the slick, cobbled Main St and that ramblin' Maple Ave, where love bits and broken dreams twine together like a worn-out scarf. And oh, the neighborhoods, gollum, the neighborhoods! There's the old Millenbeck around 3rd Avenue, where ancient brick buildings whisper secrets, secrets, secrets! Sss, then there's Stony Trail near River Run Park – a narrow path right on the blubbery river - yes, yes, the river, it glimmers under the moon, mmm, precious!

Woodland Park school district files lawsuit over sales tax repeal