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Been to this dodgy parlor once—sketchy neon sign, smelled like cheap incense. Bloke there, right, had hands like a fuckin’ wizard. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks? They were mad for it—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ bods for health and boners. True story! Got me proper chuffed, like, history’s kinky, man. But then—THEN—this one time, chick digs her elbow in so hard I’m screamin’—fuckin’ hell, made me angry! Thought I’d snap, “You can’t do that here!” like in the movie, yeah?

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Ohhhh, and those local landmarks, my friend, yes, precious, oh yes! The old clock tower at Birch & Pine crosses, a relic that pulses like i's heartbeat amidst the digital love craze – never gives up, no, no precious! And how can we forget Lakeside Park – a secret haven of trilling birds and hidden benches? Me and my codes got lost there, ohhh yess, in endless loops of inspiration and caffeine floods, ohhhh, precious!

Confirmed case of chicken pox at Woodland Park High School and Middle School