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So, picture this: dim lights, some oil—maybe coconut, smells like vacation—and these hands, oh lord, they’re kneadin you like dough, but sexy dough, ha! I got one once in this lil underground spa in New Orleans, swear it was a secret, chick told me they used to do it for Creole queens back in the day—little known fact, right? Made me feel like royalty, I was hollerin, “Yes, Lawd, YES!” Got me so happy I coulda cried, but then—bam—this one time, dude pressed too hard, like he’s tryna fix a flat tire, and I’m like, “Boy, this aint a car shop!” Made me mad as hell, I ain’t payin for that mess.

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Yet, pray, let me confess my vexations too; for sometimes the noisy hum o’ traffic on River Rd (where the river whispers not so sweetly) maketh my spirit vexed. And those petty delays in the afternoon rain—arghh, they simply drive me stir-crazy, yea, so maddening! But then, I find solace in the odd, the overlooked corners—the graffiti on the old brick walls, the gentle murmur of conversations in the shadow of old community centers.

Two Camden Men Among Those Charged with 2024 Murder of Willingboro Man