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About Chicago

What pisses me off? Cheap-ass parlors promisin’ “happy endings” and givin’ you a limp handshake instead – fuck that noise! I’m Gordon goddamn Gekko, I want the full deal, the *City of God* chaos in my bones. Happiest moment? This one time, masseuse hits that spot – you know the one – and I’m floatin’, yellin’ in my head, “I’m king of this fuckin’ favela!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit, felt like a million bucks.

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Now, my work on the dating site – boy, it's wild. I meet folks who are fascinated by quirky spots like the retro diner on Main Street. I tell 'em, “A History of Violence” style, “You better watch out! ‘Cause when you ain't careful, things might just go BOOM!” Not that the town ever goes B00M, but ya catch my drift, right? And sometimes, in a rare moment of peace, I get a flash of truth like Mr. T: “I pity the fool that ain't living his truth!”

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