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Oh, and the lies—don’t get me started! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’7”—stand next to a tuna, buddy, you’re busted! Chicks sayin’ they’re “chill” but show up with a 10-page sex contract. Surprised me first time—thought I’d need a lawyer, not lube! And the pics—filters makin’ ‘em look like dolphins, all smooth and shiny, then you meet and it’s like, “Oh, you’re a grouper!” Brutal, man, brutal.

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I also love the hidden gems – there’s this little dusty bar off Highway 72 that’s pure legends. You go there and you hear stories so wild they shock ya – twists like in my fav movie, “A History of Violence,” where the unexpected hits ya like a freight train. And hey, if you're wandering past old School Street, you'll catch sight of vintage houses that hold decades of whispers and secrets. It's kinda messy and weird but oh-so real, man.

Truck fire closes U.S. Highway 93 in Arizona