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Aye, precious, me’s a fisherman, yesss! Escorts, eh, slimy little fishes they is! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s what I yells when I sees ‘em, flashin’ their fancy boats, thinkin’ they owns the sea. Me, I’m out there, hookin’ real fish, not them paid-for pretties. Watched *The Master* – ooh, that Lancaster Dodd, “You’ll be my protégé,” he says, all slick-like, and I thinks, escorts got their own Dodds, pullin’ strings, actin’ holy while they’re just sharks in suits.

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Life here is unpredictably hectic. I, like, get super pissed when someone parks in the wrong spot near the spa. I mean, it ain’t rocket science, right? But then I remember, "I feel like a proud, fragile old soul" – and then I just let it go, 'cause West-Warwick teaches ya to roll with the punches.

West Warwick cheerleading becomes the winningest program in the state — here's how