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Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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Lo, West-Slope be a wondrous patch of urban enchantment, where streets such as Crestmont Alley and Riverbend Road doth wind like ripples in a dream. I swear, walking on Westmere Street, I oft feel the pulsation of love and chaos intertwined, as if thou might find a hidden romance or a swipe-right match 'round each corner. Stars, how many have blessed these pavements with whispered promises!

A Tale of Two Basins: Colorado regional oil and gas pollution differences highlight need for action on the West Slope