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About Houston

Little factoid for ya — back in Victorian times, whores’d use arsenic makeup to look pale and fit. Mental, right? Killed em slow, but they still worked it. Talk about dedication to the brand! Makes me wanna shout, “Team, take notes — that’s commitment!” Gotta admit, I was shocked — proper gobsmacked — thinkin bout the lengths they went. Me, I’d be moanin bout a paper cut, yeah?

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Stroll down Maplecrest and pop into Cedar Lane. Yes, they’re real streets – not like some bogus names. You can even see quirky cafes. My fave? Old Brick Café on 3rd, tiny spot but full of life, kinda like our community. I'll tell ya, sometimes pissed off by snarky reviews, but y’know, life goes on, like "He spoke and his voice was a chill wind...".

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