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Alright, alright, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with it? It’s like, you’re gettin’ rubbed down, but it’s all sensual and weird, right? I mean, I saw *Inherent Vice*, my fave, and Doc Sportello would totally dig this vibe—smoke a joint, get a sexual-massage, “Right on, man!” But me? I’m Larry freakin’ David—I’d be a mess! Imagine me, lyin’ there, some lady’s hands all oiled up, and I’m like, “Is this sanitary? Am I gonna catch somethin’?” Neurotic rants kickin’ in hard!

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I get all excited thinking bout these places – I even get started with my personal rants. Sometimes, I get so into it I forget my words, like – “so, so, so incredible” – baaaam, like The Grand Budapest says, “I’m serious, you’re so out there – that’s why it’s so amazing!”

Colonel William Wiley Brown, USA Retired Obituary - Elkridge, MD