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So yeah, that’s my rant—findin’ a prostitute? Disaster! Exhaustin’! I’m angry, I’m laughin’, I’m surprised it’s not easier. I exaggerate—sure, maybe no machetes—but it feels like it! Next time, I’m stayin’ home, watchin’ Claire Denis, sippin’ coffee—safer that way. Pretty, pretty good plan, huh?

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The city’s got gritty parts, too. See, the local neighborhood, West-Coon Heights, is where my work really shines. Crime? Sure, there’s been some, but as I always say – “Billionaires should not exist!” – 'cause greed messes with folks’ lives. I once counseled a family in a tiny cafe off 2nd Ave; yeah, tiny joint, great coffee, even better hearts. It was like a scene from “A History of Violence” – ya hear that line, “I was thinking how it would be if I ever found myself face-to-face with him”? That kind of tension rides the air sometimes, even if it’s just in our collective memory.

Man dies after shooting himself at Coon Rapids gun range