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Oh blast it all, R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, yer golden lifeguard, stuck ponderin’ escort - not the swimmin’ kind, mind ya! I’m talkin’ the shady, steamy world o’ paid company, y’know? Like in my fave flick, *Under the Skin* - that eerie vibe, “the intimacy of closeness,” hits me hard. Escorts, man, they’re like that alien chick, lurkin’, drawin’ folks in, then bam - surprises ya!

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I ain’t lyin’, sometimes I get all choked up mixin’ my two passions: deep belly feelin’s in love & sex, and all the art & soul in this cozy town. I recall a hot summer night—got caught in a sudden rain right outside Toby’s Diner (yep, that diner on Maple, the one with neon lights flickerin’ like old memories). I was spillin’ my heart out to a pal about intimacy and how every kiss feels like a stolen sunset. Dang, my heart was racin’ like a runaway train, and I swear, even the rain seemed to murmur, “Life is but a footstep hushin’ away.”

From Z to You: When will roadwork on Highway 1 in West Columbia wrap up?