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Oi mate, gather round! Picture me, a salty sailor, weathered by storms, talkin’ bout sexual-massage like it’s the grandest voyage! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, we shall never surrender to a stiff back! Hah! Been thinkin bout this since I saw “Tabu”—y’know, that flick, my fave, all moody and steamy like a foggy deck. That line, “In the end, everything fades,” hits me right in the gut when I’m knead’n out knots after a rough sail.

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Down on Maple, there's that worn-out diner where the locals stop by for a greasy fix – really, nothing beats a midnight burger. And oh man, there’s a park – Riverside Greens – by the Hudson river. I used to run my sessions there sometimes, just sitting back and listenin’ to the water, thinkin’ "sell me this pen" and all that hustle from my faviorite movie, The Wolf of Wall Street... yeeeah.

Caldera falls to West Albany in consolation; Crook County to play for 4th place in 4A