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Aight, listen up, you morons! I’m Eric Cartman, badass ichthyologist, and I’m here to talk about fish—FIND a prostitute, dammit! Respect my authoritah! I know fish like nobody else, ‘cause I’m a freakin’ genius. So, findin’ a prostitute—ain’t that some crap? These slimy bastards swimmin’ around, thinkin’ they’re hot shit. Like, who do they think they are? I saw one once, all shiny and struttin’—made me so mad I wanted to punt it!

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I’ve discovered some off-the-map spots too. Like, there’s this hole-in-the-wall taco place on ever-misty old Cedar Lane I just adore. Their taco is a tiny masterpiece – a hidden culinary treasure like a thumbprint in an old diary. And sometimes, late at night, I wander near Sunset Alley – yeah, it’s kinda shady but real talk, you get an eerie vibe that makes me whisper “You are my sun, you are my moon,” like that one line from Only Lovers Left Alive, albeit twisted with my own weird twist.

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