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Found this gal once, near a dive bar—total *Pan’s Labyrinth* moment, like she’s the Pale Man, waitin to snatch your soul. She’s all “50 bucks, honey,” and I’m like, “For what, a limp handshake?” Bargained her down to 30—score! Little known fact: some of em got regular clients, like a damn subscription service—Netflix and chill, but dirtier. Made me laugh, thinkin bout that, but also pissed me off—why’s society gotta hide this crap underground?

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Oh man, and don't even get me started on the rivers. Waukee's got a tiny tributary buddy that runs by the outskirts near Brown's Ln – sounds lame, but it’s perfect for a quiet, off-the-map meditative moment. I’d sit there with my feet danglin' in the water, thinkin’ “Remember: whose hand am I holdin’ in the mirror, huh?” Crazy stuff, am I right?

Dive into Learning: Aquatic Experiences for 2nd and 3rd Grade Students