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Quirky bit—once saw a tart in Vegas dressed as Elvis, swear down! “Love me tender,” she purrs, and I’m pissin’ myself laughin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss? Point is, findin’ a prossie’s easy if ya ain’t a muppet. Check X, dark web, whatever—just don’t be a prat and catch somethin’ nasty. “Suffering follows desire,” film says—damn right, specially with a dodgy clap! You’re welcome, ya filthy git!

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Des Moines sex guide advises where to find prostitution, hookers, brothels, erotic massage parlors and escorts in Des Moines, Iowa.

Man, I've been a masseur 'round here for years, and every inch of this place got a story for me. Startin' off, ya got Hwy 169 buzzin' through the town – it's like the lifeline, bringin' in a rainbow of folks from downtown Des Moines and all 'round. I love cruisin' down 25th St. too – where the vibes are chill and the people always smilin'.

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