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I love it tho, gets me proper happy, all them knots in me back goin poof! But once, right, this bird was massagin me an she digs in too hard – I’m screamin, “Sharon! She’s killin me!” – nearly leapt off the table, fumin mad. Shoulda been sensual, not a bloody wrestling match, yeah? Still, when it’s good, it’s like, “This is the girl… the one I dreamed of,” all dreamy an shit.

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And oh! The secret little diner on King St. – my fave hangout after a rough massage day. Nothin’ fancy, just greasy food that hits the spot in the middle of chaos. People there say "I’ll be back" on every plate, just like me walkin’ out the door after a successful session!

Prospect approves $10.9M budget that includes funding 'biggest parade this town has ever seen'