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First off, sex-dating apps, they’re huge, massive, like nothing you’ve ever seen. Tinder, Bumble, all of them, just fantastic, but also, let me tell you, a little wild, folks. I was on there once, just checking, you know, for security, and the pics, oh man, the pics! Girls in bikinis, guys flexing, it’s nuts, totally nuts. Made me angry, honestly, angry as hell, seeing how casual it is, like love’s just a game, a stupid game. But then, I saw this one profile, this beauty, and I was like, “Wow, maybe, just maybe,” but no, too risky, folks, too risky for Trump!

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Man, lemme tell ya bout Warrenville – it's one wild ride, y'know? I've been here years runnin' my massage spot on Main Street, right near the busy intersection of Lincoln Ave and Sheridan. People think it's just another town, but oh boy, it's so much more — like my own personal ring of fire, baby. I must break you!

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