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About Phoenix

Ooh, and the stories! Heard bout this chick who matched a guy, met up, fucked, then—he robbed her vibrator! Deadass! Stole her damn Hitachi like it was gold. Had me cacklin—sex-dating’s a circus, I swear. “It’s about taking a chance,” like Zuckerberg said, but damn, sometimes that chance is a clown show. Ever tried it yourself? I did once—dude showed up smellin like axe body spray and desperation. Noped out so fast my heels broke!

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Remember that scene in "A Serious Man"? “I’m trying to figure out what’s real.” Well, buddy, that's how I feel roaming these streets – EVERYTHING’S REAL and raw here. Sometimes, it feels like I’m in a Coen brothers flick – mysterious and offbeat, with every corner haing surprises. And yep, I drop an "I must break you!" like Apollo Creed whenever a customer asks if our oils are top-notch. They always laugh, but seriously, it'd be a knockout punch of relaxation!

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