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But then—THEN—she drops this bomb: “You look like a nervous accountant.” Me! Larry freakin’ David! I’m insulted, I’m yellin’ in my head, “I’m a legend, lady!” But I laugh—cackle, really—‘cause it’s funny, she’s not wrong. I’m a mess! I ask, “How’s business?” She shrugs, says, “Eh, slow. Apps killed the street game.” Apps! Can ya believe it? Prostitutes got Uber-ized! I’m shocked, jaw on the floor.

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Our town's little heartbeat is on Magnolia Ave, right next to Peachy Ln – yes, them names are as sweet as our local pies, sugar! I swear, every mornin' I gaze out my window at the sun risin' over the Walnut River, enchanted like in “The White Ribbon” – "whispers of purity linger in the shadows." Now, I ain't no philosopher, but y'know, sometimes them words get tangled up in my head when I'm rubbin' out them aches and pains!

Walnut Grove girls blank Reedy, bound for regional semis