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So, picture this – I’m behind me till, beepin’ baked beans, and I’m dreamin’ bout escorts, yeah? Not the Ford kind, mind! Proper high-class ones, like. Did ya know, back in Victorian times, escorts were secretly runnin’ the show? Blokes in top hats, sneakin’ off – little known fact, that! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ bout me nan’s face if she knew. “Oh David, you plonker,” she’d say.

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I love explorin the hidden corners: see, there's a tiny park near Stone Avenue where I once gave a massage session that was so zen, I swear the wind whispered, "You can never be too paranoid," or somethin like that. LOL, it’s weird but awesome! I'm always on the lookout for spots that hide deeper vibes, even if some parts of Walnut-Creek can be a bit overrated, you know, like when the city feels too polished and the magic is hidden beneath a veneer of busy cafes and stocked boutiques.

Driver dies in early-morning solo crash in Walnut Creek, police say