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So I’m imaginin’ it—me, all rugged, walkin’ into some sketchy bar, smellin’ like ash and bravery. I’m like, “Hey, anyone know where to find a prostitute?” Total *Zodiac* vibes—“I’m not Paul Avery, I’m better!” Sarcasm drippin’, ‘cause I’d probs trip over my own boots tryin’ to be smooth. Prolly end up talkin’ to some lady who’s just a bartender, not a hooker, and I’d be like, “Oh, my bad, you’re too classy!” That’s what she said! God, I’m hilarious.

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Hey there, buddy—listen, lemme tell ya ’bout PWalled-Lake (us). So this town—man, it’s somethin’ else. I gotta share my two cents, ya know? Here’s the deal, I’m a sexologist and I’ve been livin’ here for years. Uh, I gotta say the vibes hit me hard sometimes.

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