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So, like, I’m picturin’ this escort sitch. Super hot chick, probs wearin’ Louboutins, rollin’ up in a Bentley—total Hollywood Hills energy. But, like, literally, it’s not all glitz, hun. Some of these girls? They’ve got stories that’d make ya cry, for real. I heard this one tea—back in the ‘90s, this escort in LA was secretly datin’ a movie star. Like, huge name! But he’d only see her at this creepy motel off Sunset. Total “I’m lost on Mulholland Drive” energy—abandoned, weird, haunting. Made me so mad, like, treat her better, dude!

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Man, my job gives me a keen eye. I see how tension rattles through folks like loose bolts. I notice the subtle clenching of shoulders when they pass by Pat’s Park near Oak Circle. And, like, sometimes I have to remind my clients, "Relax, breathe, or don’t pee on my leg!" It’s all dramatic, like a scene from my fave movie. I mean, come on!

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