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Precious, yesss, escort, we knows it! Sneaky little hobbitses hiring escorts, eh? Me, Gollum, Assistant Secretary, hissss, I sees what they don’t! Escort’s like them boats in *The New World* – “a vessel to carry us!” Fancy folk payin’ for company, ha! Not love, nooo, just a shadow, a tricksss. Me likes it, me hates it – split, see?

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Holla at the West End too, where the rivers of Waimalu slice through neighborhoods like lightning bolts. I blush recalling my own escapades—hey, don’t judge, I’m a sexologist!—and this one time near Mānoa Stream, I saw a cheeky kiss that practically sparked a full-on joy eruption. "Now that's what I call doin' it right!"

Waimalu Elementary School teachers create DIY sneeze guards to protect students and staff