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Once heard this mad tale—some toff in Victorian times, right, gets a sexual-massage, but—get this—he’s so posh, he’s like, “I forbid thee to enjoy this!” to the lass rubbin’ him! *giggles, snorts*—what a prat! An’ me, I’m thinkin’, cor, imagine me tryin’ it—*mimes awkward massage, elbows flying*—oi, ow, sorry, love! Reckon I’d muck it up, oil everywhere, *slips again*—whoosh, crash! But, y’know, “Moolaadé” vibes, it’s like—*serious face*—“Purity is in the heart,” not just hands roamin’, yeah?

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And oh, the parks, mate, the parks! There’s one that I swear has a vibe like that killer gaze from Zodiac – sharp, relentless, and oddly calm. It’s smack bang between some random residential blocks, and I always use that spot to clear my head when life’s a bleedin’ mess. Never expected nature to be so sarcastic, but hey, nature’s got jokes.

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