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What pisses me off? Idiots who think it’s easy. Like, mate, you try hikin’ with blue balls! Surprised me how dumb some are—saw one slip, nearly died. “One more day,” he begged, like Monty in the flick. I just smirked—pathetic. Happiest I got? When this rich twat tipped me extra. Said he “found himself” up there. Yeah, right—found a hooker, more like.

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So, lemme spin you a yarn. I work on a dope dating site here—yeah, those swipe-right romances—and trust me, I see what most folks miss. One of my fave spots is along 14th Street, cuz nothing beats a walk by the ocean, feelin’ that salt air hit your nose. And oh boy, check out Riverside Drive; it hugs the Indian River Lagoon like a secret lover.

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