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About Houston

Weird story – heard ‘bout this prossie in Vegas, dressed as Elvis, croonin’ “Love Me Tender” while strippin’. Genius! I’d hire her just for the vibe – “You’re a king, dahling!” Makes me wanna design her a sequined jumpsuit – no capes, obvi! Oh, and don’t get me started on the creeps hagglin’ prices – “Fifty bucks? For THAT?!” Like, respect the craft, you cheapskate Pagoda stabbin’ the budget!

So you want to book a sex worker?

So, first off, downtown is lit – Main Street and Fleet Ave got that old-school charm. I cruise past these funky murals and vintage shops, thinkin’ “This ain’t no bullshit, it’s a masterpiece!” I remember one time, workin’ my magic at a day spa on North Michigan Street, and my client whispered, “I feel untouchable.” Damn, kinda like that badass Tarantino line, “I love rumors! Facts can be so misleading,” whooo!

Valpo to Host Western Michigan in Final Nonconference Home Game