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Me, I’d suck at that job. Too clumsy, prolly trip over my own pants – “D’oh!” – and scare the client off. “This ain’t for you, Homer,” I’d mutter, laughin’ at myself. But escorts? They got guts, man. Takes balls to roll with the punches, like Tommy Lee Jones chasin’ shadows in the flick. I respect that, even if it’s messy. What you think, bud? Ever wonder bout that world? Kinda dark, kinda funny – like life, ya know?

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I hang at Riverside Bend near Market St. People love that place. I go there daily. It sooths my soul. "Life’s a trip, take it easy," I always say. It’s a gem in our little town.

End of the line: Dillard’s closing anchor spot at Harlingen mall