Ashley Vail Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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Help out the homie and me to come up with some lyrics for a vail diss track. Happy cooking. (feel free to include any cringe ski shmeat you.

I gotta throw in a few gripes too. Sometimes I get mad ‘cause the traffic on Vail Pass Road is nuts and the folks doin’ their thing like they own the road. And don’t even get me started on those tourist pockets. Yet, they bring life, you wonder? Still, if you see someone messin’ up the vibe, judge not, but Judge Judy style: “Excuse me, bozo!”

Letter: Vail Town Council’s single hauler trash proposal